Pressure

I watched a situation today at a barn that reminded me of a mistake that I fell into as a young trainer.  A  woman was working her horse in lines.  Things were progressing fairly well up to the point where the young woman discovered she had an audience.  Unconsciously this caused the woman  to up the ante.  A little too much pressure and too much whip  caused the horse to get nervous. The horse lost cadence and balance almost immediately.  It wasn't pretty.  So what's happening at a deeper level ?  Our authentic self actually gets highjacked by the ego.  The ego feels insecure and whats to impress.  The brilliance that we want the horse to express is sabotaged and disorder is reflected back. Our focus was lost, it shifted from supporting the horse to making sure we look good.

Of course this is a common mistake especially in performance areas. You can break this loop in your head that is reacting subconsciously.  Ultimately,  you will want to catch yourself before your body tenses and reacts.  Stay present and focus on the horses needs.  Remind yourself that you are there to support the horse emotionally, mentally and physically.  The horse will gain trust in you that you are there for them.  When things get tense the horse will have learned to look to you .  Knowing that you are authentically empowered.  This is the key to teaching a horse to use his full power.

First Impressions

I was called to out to a farm recently to help a client out with her new horse. There seemed to be a spiraling problem in which the horse on the ground and under tack would spook and flee. The initial problem started out with the introduction to a few cows on the property, and escalated to the behavior being triggered by something very still, like a rock or tree stump that would spook the horse.

Now every horse person can realize that the horse has lost trust in this individual. My work is to go in and access the personality of the horse and learn what the horse needs in order to be supported properly. Learning to make conscious those first impressions is a lost art in many of us. Our society has taught us to value only what is in front of our eyes and not the essence of the situation. In our first encounters we are flooded with an enormous amount of information that would serve us if we can make it conscious. Learning to activate this deeper awareness takes practice. You can begin just by taking a moment to slow your breathing down, center yourself and listen at a deeper level than your busy mind. Unlike humans, horses are quite accurate in their intuitive diagnosis of us. They can size up our strengths and weaknesses in seconds.

So what’s in a first impression? The truth is that what lies beneath the surface is what is driving the behavior not only in horses but humans alike.

Now back to our spooky horse. To the eye this horse seemed confident. He came right up to front of his stall, stuck his head out and assertively put his head into the conversation and demanded our attention. What the owner saw in her horse was a very sturdy mount that had good bone structure and was very friendly and wanted our company. Of course these are the qualities she was looking for in a horse when she purchased him, but unfortunately, many time we attract the opposite. What I felt and saw was an underlying anxiety that showed up as a lack of respect for our space and was being misread as friendliness and confidence. This horse was not looking for sentimental closeness, he was a very intelligent and sensitive individual who needs a self assured, grounded person who can provide good boundaries for him. He demanded clarity and fairness. Once the diagnosis is correct than healing can begin. Since the owner of this horse was able to provide the qualities that this horse demanded we had a successful session. Her horse was more relaxed, licking and chewing and walking past cows at the end.

From The Horses Mouth

My horse Charisma's perspective

Yesterday my friend(owner) came out to see me. I was in my paddock and it was midday. The ground is frozen and there is not much green grass but not a problem. I was nibbling on a round bale(my own personal one). When I saw my friend, I walked up to the gate to greet her. I was sure to remain out of reach but close enough to snatch the peppermint out of her hand. I call that the snatch and run move. My friend climbed in the paddock and for a few minutes I danced just outside of catching distance. I showed off with a few snorts and quick steps which gave my friend a clear message that I was not interested in her agenda today. The weather conditions these past few days had limited my turnout. I was so enjoying my freedom, the sun and the company of my herd. My friend got the message very quickly and laughed while admiring my strong nature. Yes, she could had excepted the offer from the others in the barn to corner me in order to catch me. Luckily my friend realized the disconnect in that sort of action. From my perspective that would be predatory behavior and I would have fought like hell not to be caught. Plus how much fun would it be to ride a horse who is not into it's job at the moment? The reason I get along so well with my friend and we have developed such a strong partnership is because she allows me to be a fully empowered mare, not some codependent or slave. Thats why when she rides me it is as though we are one. There is nothing that we do not honor in each other. The same freedom, joy and respect she allows me to experience I give back to her ten fold. So when we ride she gets experience the full spirit of me and I hers.

In my work and my own personal journey, I’ve noticed many people have become disconnected from their self preservation skills. They throw themselves away to dangerous people or situations. Many times with good intentions, most in hopes of fixing people, situations (or horses). While horses have always been in my life for one reason or another, the horse as a path of self discovery has been one of the most rewarding for me. They are naturally tuned into their instincts and self preservation response. So if you are going to ride you better be solidly in touch with your own instinct or else you may end up on the ground. It makes perfect sense that if a horse is going to allow us to ride and take control of their safety then they will want to sense that we have an intact instinctual system. Unfortunately as we get older society teaches us to become more rational, encouraging us to disassociated from emotions,instinct and our bodies. If we are not aware of what our body is feeling and the thoughts floating around our head then we are disconnected from our solar plexus or gut. Our gut is the center of our fight or flight . It is our natural warning system. For some people it can actually get turned off. Horses can help us reconnect, they are experts at this language precisely because of their large guts. The key is to get back in the body. Have good boundaries. Learn to be aware of what we are feeling and separate from what others are feeling. Develop empathy which is understanding the language of emotions and know how to use it. Learning how to support yourself is one of the gifts horses can teach us.

My son just moved home with his cat Sandy. I have missed not having a cat in my home. Cats are very different than dogs. Cats are very independent verses codependent ,not wanting to please as much as dogs so. After Sandy started to get comfortable in our house she started to jump on the counters and the table. I corrected her for this behavior. My son said she's a free range kitty she does as she pleases. I said free range my a.... I explained that cats represent spirit and creativity.

Just like our spirit you can't box it in but you can work with it and discipline it. We also need to learn what is appropriate and what is not. A disciplined spirit can help bring great creativity into our world through music , writing and art. A spirit undisciplined will sabotage this process.