First Impressions

I was called to out to a farm recently to help a client out with her new horse. There seemed to be a spiraling problem in which the horse on the ground and under tack would spook and flee. The initial problem started out with the introduction to a few cows on the property, and escalated to the behavior being triggered by something very still, like a rock or tree stump that would spook the horse.

Now every horse person can realize that the horse has lost trust in this individual. My work is to go in and access the personality of the horse and learn what the horse needs in order to be supported properly. Learning to make conscious those first impressions is a lost art in many of us. Our society has taught us to value only what is in front of our eyes and not the essence of the situation. In our first encounters we are flooded with an enormous amount of information that would serve us if we can make it conscious. Learning to activate this deeper awareness takes practice. You can begin just by taking a moment to slow your breathing down, center yourself and listen at a deeper level than your busy mind. Unlike humans, horses are quite accurate in their intuitive diagnosis of us. They can size up our strengths and weaknesses in seconds.

So what’s in a first impression? The truth is that what lies beneath the surface is what is driving the behavior not only in horses but humans alike.

Now back to our spooky horse. To the eye this horse seemed confident. He came right up to front of his stall, stuck his head out and assertively put his head into the conversation and demanded our attention. What the owner saw in her horse was a very sturdy mount that had good bone structure and was very friendly and wanted our company. Of course these are the qualities she was looking for in a horse when she purchased him, but unfortunately, many time we attract the opposite. What I felt and saw was an underlying anxiety that showed up as a lack of respect for our space and was being misread as friendliness and confidence. This horse was not looking for sentimental closeness, he was a very intelligent and sensitive individual who needs a self assured, grounded person who can provide good boundaries for him. He demanded clarity and fairness. Once the diagnosis is correct than healing can begin. Since the owner of this horse was able to provide the qualities that this horse demanded we had a successful session. Her horse was more relaxed, licking and chewing and walking past cows at the end.

From The Horses Mouth

My horse Charisma's perspective

Yesterday my friend(owner) came out to see me. I was in my paddock and it was midday. The ground is frozen and there is not much green grass but not a problem. I was nibbling on a round bale(my own personal one). When I saw my friend, I walked up to the gate to greet her. I was sure to remain out of reach but close enough to snatch the peppermint out of her hand. I call that the snatch and run move. My friend climbed in the paddock and for a few minutes I danced just outside of catching distance. I showed off with a few snorts and quick steps which gave my friend a clear message that I was not interested in her agenda today. The weather conditions these past few days had limited my turnout. I was so enjoying my freedom, the sun and the company of my herd. My friend got the message very quickly and laughed while admiring my strong nature. Yes, she could had excepted the offer from the others in the barn to corner me in order to catch me. Luckily my friend realized the disconnect in that sort of action. From my perspective that would be predatory behavior and I would have fought like hell not to be caught. Plus how much fun would it be to ride a horse who is not into it's job at the moment? The reason I get along so well with my friend and we have developed such a strong partnership is because she allows me to be a fully empowered mare, not some codependent or slave. Thats why when she rides me it is as though we are one. There is nothing that we do not honor in each other. The same freedom, joy and respect she allows me to experience I give back to her ten fold. So when we ride she gets experience the full spirit of me and I hers.

In my work and my own personal journey, I’ve noticed many people have become disconnected from their self preservation skills. They throw themselves away to dangerous people or situations. Many times with good intentions, most in hopes of fixing people, situations (or horses). While horses have always been in my life for one reason or another, the horse as a path of self discovery has been one of the most rewarding for me. They are naturally tuned into their instincts and self preservation response. So if you are going to ride you better be solidly in touch with your own instinct or else you may end up on the ground. It makes perfect sense that if a horse is going to allow us to ride and take control of their safety then they will want to sense that we have an intact instinctual system. Unfortunately as we get older society teaches us to become more rational, encouraging us to disassociated from emotions,instinct and our bodies. If we are not aware of what our body is feeling and the thoughts floating around our head then we are disconnected from our solar plexus or gut. Our gut is the center of our fight or flight . It is our natural warning system. For some people it can actually get turned off. Horses can help us reconnect, they are experts at this language precisely because of their large guts. The key is to get back in the body. Have good boundaries. Learn to be aware of what we are feeling and separate from what others are feeling. Develop empathy which is understanding the language of emotions and know how to use it. Learning how to support yourself is one of the gifts horses can teach us.

My son just moved home with his cat Sandy. I have missed not having a cat in my home. Cats are very different than dogs. Cats are very independent verses codependent ,not wanting to please as much as dogs so. After Sandy started to get comfortable in our house she started to jump on the counters and the table. I corrected her for this behavior. My son said she's a free range kitty she does as she pleases. I said free range my a.... I explained that cats represent spirit and creativity.

Just like our spirit you can't box it in but you can work with it and discipline it. We also need to learn what is appropriate and what is not. A disciplined spirit can help bring great creativity into our world through music , writing and art. A spirit undisciplined will sabotage this process.

The Eyes Are Said To Be The Window Of The Soul

In my early years I thought I knew her. Experiencing small windows of recognition. Because of projections, she still was a stranger , me afraid to know what's there. The journey into the heart so worth it, bringing balance, joy and authenticity. Now when I look in her (I) eye, I see myself. Soul mates to each other. A bond that last for eternity.

It is elementary my dear Watson.

This is Watson a terrier that I visited on a consult this past weekend.

His owner called because Watson whom she rescued from the animal shelter a month ago was experiencing separation anxiety. I usually start my work out by getting the owner in touch with her own body wisdom and ask for a message from the body on the situation. She was easily able to get a message from the tension in her arms that she was to lighten up. I did get a feeling from the dog that he just wanted to please his new owner and he had a nice nature about him. I discussed how the owner is contributing to the situation unconsciously. Love without boundaries can become enmeshment, which is unhealthy and very heavy for a person or animal to carry. Both the owners and the dogs boundaries that form autonomy were weak. Enmeshment doesn't allow individual empowerment or a healthy relationship with our self or a higher power. We need to be careful that we don't expect our dog to fill our needs or complete oneself, that only makes for a codependent dog . Many times if you shift this dynamics before it gets programed into the dogs brain and nervous system, you can help the dog to settle and be less reactive. Separation anxiety can decrease and a more balanced relationship ensues.

aloof pony

Dear Annika and friend,
As for your question regarding your pony and his resistence to join up. First of all you need to realize that ponies are wired a little differently than horses. There need to be reliant on people is not as strong. They are very independent and have their opinions. The second thing is you can not change the personality of a horse or pony. You learned to accept and work with them as they are.

There are many different teachings out there on the idea of joining up. I choose to call it connection. In my opinion being fully connected to a horse does not mean they will abducate their will to us 100 percent of the time. It's a give and take and the relationship takes time to develope.

A few suggestions I have for connecting would be to spend sometime doing nothing , just being with your horse . You can read in his stall or just sit with him in the fields.This allows you both to be in each others space without any agenda. This sets the space for the heart connection.

Pushing a horse from behind is helpful to build respect. If you watch horses out in pasture the lead horse will push the lower horses out of the way so that they have the food. So set up this situation. If your pony is eating push him off the hay or grass. Make it yours, keep playing that way for maybe five minutes. Then invite him in to share with you, spend five minutes sharing .
Then do exercise over again , push him away. He may get a little mad because he's not used to this behavior from you , but it will teach him to respect you and get him to pay more attention to you. His focus will improve.

Another exercise would be to play with him while in a big space like and arena or paddock , get him to move out of your space , push him from behind, you don't need to make him run just move him, continue this exercise till he makes the decision to turn and faces you then he made the choice to connect. Look for other signs of connection , he will lower his head, lick and chew. At this point you can usually walk to him and he is ready to follow. I prefer to make daily connections using this technique. That way they are free to make their own decisions. As for the question with the lunge line . It is a line of connection and definately a good tool ,but to bring it to a higher level you would want to master this invisible connection were they read your energy , and look forward to connecting and looking for your direction.

Just remember a more sensitive horse will be more tuned in. A less sensitive horse like your pony will take more time and you'll need to find out what motivates him and use that to make it enjoyable for him.
Nancy