The Feedback Loop

• I've had a couple people and horses that I've been doing some coaching with that have had their mounts refuse to move forward.  First and foremost we check the horses out to make sure there is no pain.  In both these horses, work needed to be done on their backs.  Once given the all clear we started back to see if the resistance still existed.  Even though the physical pain was gone there was something blocking forward movement.  Was it coming from the horse or the person? Sometimes we will never know the exact details but in my experience it works as a feedback loop.  The horse heals the person and the person heals the horse.  In both these cases the people had an unhealthy relationship with their dominant nature.  They judged the dominance quality of people as a negative trait.   The horses can sense this lack of wholeness in their riders and reacted to it.  What does healing look like?  Keeping both the horse and the rider present is important.  Both these horses were high sensitives and learned to disassociate in order to endure things that stressed them out.  Keeping things very slow and making sure that each lesson is embodied and no one is unconsciously pushed to far out of their comfort zone.  Each lesson has to be finished with both horse and rider feeling relaxed and confident.  For the one horse and rider it meant only walking for two or three weeks. Me supporting both from the ground.  Only stepping in to help reinforce safety or the learning curve of the rider on how to use her dominance through the use of her own energy in a non predatory way.  We want to teach a horse to have communication with us, but not in a defensive move.  Just like people, horses develop coping mechanisms.  They develop neuropathways from the brain to the body that cause them to just react.  We need to retrain the horse out of it's reactive response, whether it was caused from past pain or bad training.  The rider also needs to learn to feel into the horse and respond appropriately. If you have a fear of being bucked off it's programed into your body. Slowly with good support and positive experiences a trust and confidence can build in the rider and horse.  They feed off each other in a conscious way. I'm happy to say that both these horses and owners are enjoying each other and the freedom of movement.  The horses actually now ask for the permission to move forward and it is with joy.

Just a Dog

I asked my friend if I could share her poem she wrote for her dog Jake that passed away last week.  I was lucky enough to have met this guy as a small puppy and can relate so deeply to what she feels at this time of letting a loved animal go.  Once we have the connection of the heart nothing can ever separate us. Hope it keeps your  connection with your loved one alive. 

It’s Just a Dog…

It’s just a dog, I heard him say,

The day my best friend passed away.

I thought his comment very rude

Until at last I understood.

He’d never had a love like that,

A precious dog – or horse – or cat.

He’d never felt a love so deep,

That hurt so bad at final sleep.

A love so full of joy and fun,

That made your two hearts beat as one.

Companionship so pure and true,

You knew he made a better you.

How sad I thought, he missed the gift,

Of love so pure you felt the lift,

To way beyond the human scope,

A place so full of joy and hope,

You knew that heaven must be real

And dogs and God had made a deal

To help us here through all our woes,

Our constant stream of highs and lows.

That quiet presence, wagging tail,

The smiling face that never fails,

To raise our spirits and go on,

When every other hope is gone.

So many things I’ll miss each day,

So many things I want to say,

I could not have a better friend,

Although it’s tough right at the end.

We spent so many happy years

But now my heart is full of tears.

I’ll never fail to think with love

And thank the stars and God above

That such a dog came to my way

It’s just a dog – my lucky day!

SD

IN MEMORY OF JAKE DAVIS LALIBERTE

SEPTEMBER 10, 2015

The Path to the Horse

Horses are “helping over civilized people reconnect with the wisdom and rhythms of the world.” Linda Kohanov, Riding Between the World.

This over civilized state of being is the world many of us live in. Not only with horses but in our everyday lives. This disconnect puts more value on our rational thinking and learned mental patterns causing us to override our hearts.  Leaving us searching and lost in a world of thoughts and trying to figuring things out.  The mind that is full of chatter is a place horses run from.  The natural vibration of horses reside in a more alpha state of being. Horses have a less verbal more telepathic or sensory way of being. These beautifully sensitive animals can teach us to sense with our whole bodies. This path can teach you to hear from a deeper place within, where you are not as addicted to the technique, but feel the fluidness of the dance.  Horses want us to  become more empathic and responsive in the moment.  It’s not that we throw out all that we have learned about the technique of riding.  We learn to simultaneously sense the horse, its emotional, mental and spiritual state along with feeling our own bodies. We feel with the horse, in a sense become the horse.  The ability to reconnect and sense our own bodies connects us to our emotions, instincts and intuition. It is in this place of connection with ourself, our original nature, that give us the key to open up and unlock the nature of the horse.

A solid connection to our body and our instincts should be one of the first things we address before we even think about being with horses.  Many problems with horses arise because we don’t even know what we are feeling and we unconsciously program or project our issue on to our horses(animals, children etc.). One exercise I found helpful is to spend some time just being with your horse. Sit and sense into your own body.  Scan your body.  What are you feeling? Is there any frustration, anxiety, joy, excitement?  Another question to sense into is “are these my emotions or the horses”? Emotions are contagious! The horse will only magnify and act out what is unconscious in you.  The horse is wired to feel into their environment, so make sure you know what you are putting out.  This exercise will help you in connecting to your body. Emotions are the gateway to our body and also the language of animals. The difference between a rider and the art of riding is based on clarity of self, this self awareness is the first step.

Horses and Authenticity

Many of you that know me have witnessed my journey with horses from competitor to partner.  At first I felt that maybe if I had learned the lesson the other way around it would had benefited both the horse and myself for a richer learning experience quicker. As I examined that thought I realized that I did have the partnership and friend portion long before I ever turned to competition and training. I was raised with horses as a child we had friendship then and while in competition.  I believe the truth of the situation is that certain lost or hidden aspects of being with horses are just not taught.  It is ancient knowledge that was lost as we lost touch with the balance of all life.  Being with horses is a holistic journey and riding is only the tip of the iceberg.  The foundation that we build must start with spiritual and self awareness that is grounded in a strong body presence and awareness.  The work that I now teach is beyond horsemanship. We all want to achieve connection.  Connection is instinctual, it is the underlying pull that helps us live in harmony. Being that horses don't live with us they have kept their connection to their instinct, emotions and intuition. Horses can led us to these point within ourselves. Many people have a desire to know what they are here to do.  I suggest you find out who you are first, out of that space come direction.  Horse are wonderful guides into these places because they demand authenticity.  This is how they measure our power.  I am now offering private sessions and workshops that help others to look within and develop a new relationship with the feminine aspects of power.  Many of the exercises I use are incorporated from the work I have done with my mentor Linda Kohanoc. Her most recent book The Power of the Herd is an excellent manual in emotional intelligence and I recommend it as a valuable read. Although this work is not limited to people who have horse, it is a prerequisite for becoming one with the horse.  The horse wants to follow that which is inwardly strong and outwardly soft.

A Soft Focus

A Soft Focus

Recently I have been riding without wearing my contacts to the barn.  Within a few days I realized that having such blurring vision can be an advantage. This may sound funny but it felt similar to a blind person that learns to fine tune their other senses to compensate for the loss of vision. Now I know I’m not blind and my vision is still a sense that I consider important while riding, but, what was different?   I always try to feel into my body and my horse while I’m riding, but it seemed easier and maybe even enhanced.  I became more aware of any areas of tension in my body.  Knowing full well that if my lower back was tense so was my horse’s.  In my canter depart I felt  a subtle shifts forward in my upper body which inhibited my horse from using her hind end to engage first.  Being connected to my own body then allowed me easy access into my horses body and my surroundings at the same time.  The ride became more fluid, relaxed and we were perceiving more as one.  It was a deeper level of connection in the saddle.

This soft focus is an exercise that I teach in my animal communication class. Soft focus will help you to think and feel  “with” the animal instead of looking “at” the animal.  Looking at an animal or person with direct focus can be stressful for both predator and prey.  Horses being prey animals have eyes that tend to be more towards the side of their heads.  This best enhances their survival giving them a greater range of vision.  Similar to the larger field of vision and greater awareness of my surroundings that I experience without my contacts.  Looking with the horse can be used as a building block in developing oneness with your horse on the ground and also in the saddle.  When we are riding them, they give control and trust up to us. In order to create safety and security for the horse we must see through their eyes, not our eyes.  Look and feel from the horse’s  perspective.  They are offering us a gift into their world. It will help you develop an increased awareness of your surroundings , your body and your horses.

Pressure

I watched a situation today at a barn that reminded me of a mistake that I fell into as a young trainer.  A  woman was working her horse in lines.  Things were progressing fairly well up to the point where the young woman discovered she had an audience.  Unconsciously this caused the woman  to up the ante.  A little too much pressure and too much whip  caused the horse to get nervous. The horse lost cadence and balance almost immediately.  It wasn't pretty.  So what's happening at a deeper level ?  Our authentic self actually gets highjacked by the ego.  The ego feels insecure and whats to impress.  The brilliance that we want the horse to express is sabotaged and disorder is reflected back. Our focus was lost, it shifted from supporting the horse to making sure we look good.

Of course this is a common mistake especially in performance areas. You can break this loop in your head that is reacting subconsciously.  Ultimately,  you will want to catch yourself before your body tenses and reacts.  Stay present and focus on the horses needs.  Remind yourself that you are there to support the horse emotionally, mentally and physically.  The horse will gain trust in you that you are there for them.  When things get tense the horse will have learned to look to you .  Knowing that you are authentically empowered.  This is the key to teaching a horse to use his full power.

First Impressions

I was called to out to a farm recently to help a client out with her new horse. There seemed to be a spiraling problem in which the horse on the ground and under tack would spook and flee. The initial problem started out with the introduction to a few cows on the property, and escalated to the behavior being triggered by something very still, like a rock or tree stump that would spook the horse.

Now every horse person can realize that the horse has lost trust in this individual. My work is to go in and access the personality of the horse and learn what the horse needs in order to be supported properly. Learning to make conscious those first impressions is a lost art in many of us. Our society has taught us to value only what is in front of our eyes and not the essence of the situation. In our first encounters we are flooded with an enormous amount of information that would serve us if we can make it conscious. Learning to activate this deeper awareness takes practice. You can begin just by taking a moment to slow your breathing down, center yourself and listen at a deeper level than your busy mind. Unlike humans, horses are quite accurate in their intuitive diagnosis of us. They can size up our strengths and weaknesses in seconds.

So what’s in a first impression? The truth is that what lies beneath the surface is what is driving the behavior not only in horses but humans alike.

Now back to our spooky horse. To the eye this horse seemed confident. He came right up to front of his stall, stuck his head out and assertively put his head into the conversation and demanded our attention. What the owner saw in her horse was a very sturdy mount that had good bone structure and was very friendly and wanted our company. Of course these are the qualities she was looking for in a horse when she purchased him, but unfortunately, many time we attract the opposite. What I felt and saw was an underlying anxiety that showed up as a lack of respect for our space and was being misread as friendliness and confidence. This horse was not looking for sentimental closeness, he was a very intelligent and sensitive individual who needs a self assured, grounded person who can provide good boundaries for him. He demanded clarity and fairness. Once the diagnosis is correct than healing can begin. Since the owner of this horse was able to provide the qualities that this horse demanded we had a successful session. Her horse was more relaxed, licking and chewing and walking past cows at the end.