The Charisma Connection

2012-01-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

In my work and my own personal journey, I’ve noticed many people have become disconnected from their self preservation skills. They throw themselves away to dangerous people or situations. Many times with good intentions, most in hopes of fixing people, situations (or horses). While horses have always been in my life for one reason or another, the horse as a path of self discovery has been one of the most rewarding for me. They are naturally tuned into their instincts and self preservation response. So if you are going to ride you better be solidly in touch with your own instinct or else you may end up on the ground. It makes perfect sense that if a horse is going to allow us to ride and take control of their safety then they will want to sense that we have an intact instinctual system. Unfortunately as we get older society teaches us to become more rational, encouraging us to disassociated from emotions,instinct and our bodies. If we are not aware of what our body is feeling and the thoughts floating around our head then we are disconnected from our solar plexus or gut. Our gut is the center of our fight or flight . It is our natural warning system. For some people it can actually get turned off. Horses can help us reconnect, they are experts at this language precisely because of their large guts. The key is to get back in the body. Have good boundaries. Learn to be aware of what we are feeling and separate from what others are feeling. Develop empathy which is understanding the language of emotions and know how to use it. Learning how to support yourself is one of the gifts horses can teach us.

2012-01-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

My son just moved home with his cat Sandy. I have missed not having a cat in my home. Cats are very different than dogs. Cats are very independent verses codependent ,not wanting to please as much as dogs so. After Sandy started to get comfortable in our house she started to jump on the counters and the table. I corrected her for this behavior. My son said she's a free range kitty she does as she pleases. I said free range my a.... I explained that cats represent spirit and creativity.

Just like our spirit you can't box it in but you can work with it and discipline it. We also need to learn what is appropriate and what is not. A disciplined spirit can help bring great creativity into our world through music , writing and art. A spirit undisciplined will sabotage this process.

2011-12-11T15:30:00.000-08:00

The Eyes Are Said To Be The Window Of The Soul

In my early years I thought I knew her. Experiencing small windows of recognition. Because of projections, she still was a stranger , me afraid to know what's there. The journey into the heart so worth it, bringing balance, joy and authenticity. Now when I look in her (I) eye, I see myself. Soul mates to each other. A bond that last for eternity.

2011-10-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

It is elementary my dear Watson.

This is Watson a terrier that I visited on a consult this past weekend.

His owner called because Watson whom she rescued from the animal shelter a month ago was experiencing separation anxiety. I usually start my work out by getting the owner in touch with her own body wisdom and ask for a message from the body on the situation. She was easily able to get a message from the tension in her arms that she was to lighten up. I did get a feeling from the dog that he just wanted to please his new owner and he had a nice nature about him. I discussed how the owner is contributing to the situation unconsciously. Love without boundaries can become enmeshment, which is unhealthy and very heavy for a person or animal to carry. Both the owners and the dogs boundaries that form autonomy were weak. Enmeshment doesn't allow individual empowerment or a healthy relationship with our self or a higher power. We need to be careful that we don't expect our dog to fill our needs or complete oneself, that only makes for a codependent dog . Many times if you shift this dynamics before it gets programed into the dogs brain and nervous system, you can help the dog to settle and be less reactive. Separation anxiety can decrease and a more balanced relationship ensues.

aloof pony

2009-11-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Annika and friend,
As for your question regarding your pony and his resistence to join up. First of all you need to realize that ponies are wired a little differently than horses. There need to be reliant on people is not as strong. They are very independent and have their opinions. The second thing is you can not change the personality of a horse or pony. You learned to accept and work with them as they are.

There are many different teachings out there on the idea of joining up. I choose to call it connection. In my opinion being fully connected to a horse does not mean they will abducate their will to us 100 percent of the time. It's a give and take and the relationship takes time to develope.

A few suggestions I have for connecting would be to spend sometime doing nothing , just being with your horse . You can read in his stall or just sit with him in the fields.This allows you both to be in each others space without any agenda. This sets the space for the heart connection.

Pushing a horse from behind is helpful to build respect. If you watch horses out in pasture the lead horse will push the lower horses out of the way so that they have the food. So set up this situation. If your pony is eating push him off the hay or grass. Make it yours, keep playing that way for maybe five minutes. Then invite him in to share with you, spend five minutes sharing .
Then do exercise over again , push him away. He may get a little mad because he's not used to this behavior from you , but it will teach him to respect you and get him to pay more attention to you. His focus will improve.

Another exercise would be to play with him while in a big space like and arena or paddock , get him to move out of your space , push him from behind, you don't need to make him run just move him, continue this exercise till he makes the decision to turn and faces you then he made the choice to connect. Look for other signs of connection , he will lower his head, lick and chew. At this point you can usually walk to him and he is ready to follow. I prefer to make daily connections using this technique. That way they are free to make their own decisions. As for the question with the lunge line . It is a line of connection and definately a good tool ,but to bring it to a higher level you would want to master this invisible connection were they read your energy , and look forward to connecting and looking for your direction.

Just remember a more sensitive horse will be more tuned in. A less sensitive horse like your pony will take more time and you'll need to find out what motivates him and use that to make it enjoyable for him.
Nancy

2008-01-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Just a big thank you to Sharon Esser and all the girls at Esser Valley Arabians for hosting my clinic. It was so fulfilling to know that my information was so well received. Our beautiful show horses are a great avenue to help us with self awareness. It is only through this authentic power that we can truely know and connect to our horses. Thanks again and miss all of you over there in Ohio.

Lessons from the dominant fearful horse personality

2007-10-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

What I have learned from this personality is that because the fear issue influences the rider’s safety we tend to over focus on that issue. It is true that when dealing with a fearful horse you need to be a worthy leader and supply the courage for the horse. Your horse has to realize that it’s safe to experience new things when they are with you. It’s about paying attention to their fear reaction and knowing when to slow things down and let the horse process what he is experiencing . Many trainers do this naturally and the mutual trust is built. The problem comes when the owner can’t carry out the same level of confidence for the horse. Teaching the owner how to supply this leadership energy is necessary; many times this takes tapping into aspects of ones personality that one is not use to using.

One area that I feel is overlook is the dominant aspect of the horse’s nature. This part of the horse’s personality wants some self expression and choice in the partnership. We tend to over control this personality because we judge their willful nature. What I have found in working with these horses is that they tend to blow up with no indication that it was brewing. I feel that it is very important to give these horses opportunities to make a few decisions in the workout periods. It could be simple tasked like asking a horse to walk past something when they are ready and also in agreement to do it. This may require the handler to give the horse a few seconds to process what scares them. It’s about not overly forcing this personality but waiting for their cooperation. I had one horse that hated going to the left when I would circle him. I understood that it was physically difficult for him, but would ask him to do it with less and less of my influence. The point of partnering with the horse is observed when I come around and asked him to make the choice to turn to the left and then drop left rein contact. There is a hesitation on the horse’s part where he could go either way, to avoid or to make a choice of cooperation. It is such a great reward for the rider to know the horse choose to cooperate even though it was difficult for them. Reward for the horse is to be given by the rider. I tell them how brave they are and drop a hand to pat the wither. Most horses do want to please and they enjoy being told they are good. Use your voice and enthusiasm, it is very influential.

Barbaro What’s the Message?

2007-06-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

Barbaro What’s the Message?

Do you know that when I asked quite a few of my horse friends what they thought of the Barbaro story that aired on TV many said they couldn’t watch it because it was too sad. And yes I agreed with them that it was sad and that I was emotional at the end of watching it, but what about the higher message? What about it touched my heart as truth? I had to think about this for a few minutes and I thought what is it about the special ones? There is a quality that you can feel from them and see in their eye. What some would call a presence. People loved Barbaro for what he inspired in them. His spirit was so happy to be here and doing the job of racing. Everyone loved him because he embodied qualities that we all strive for determination, enthusiasm, drive, joy and love, not only for racing but for living. It just felt good to be around him.

Just as Christopher Reeves was a true example of a superman for humanity, Barbaro represents a super horse for the horses, proving that horses are also more than a physical body. They are sentient beings with huge spirits that need to be treated with respect. There are always going to be the critics that didn’t agree with the decision to try to save Barbaro. But to me it was so comforting to see Barbaro’s owners Gretchen and Roy Jackson and this trainer Michael Matts make all their decisions from their heart. This included not only his battle with his injury and then decision to let him go, but his training and performance decisions.

Being in the show horse business myself, I have seen and been told by a few other trainers, that if you want a pet go get a dog. This mentality makes for a very stressed animal. How would you like to be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally shut down? There are a lot of unhappy marriages out there that have those dynamics. It doesn’t work there why would it work in a horse human relationship.

I am thankful to Barboro and his owners , trainer and handlers in helping to embody a paradigm that includes the performance animal being treated with love, respect and integrity , and allowing both the owner and horse to fulfill their purpose together.

Nancy Proulx
nproulx@adelphia.net
NancyProulx.com

change the perspective

2007-04-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

As I went into the barn today to ride my horse. I noticed she had just been fed and had a pile of hay in front of her. She greeted me with a nudge and do you have a carrot for me? I decided to get a stool to sit on and just be with her as she ate. I sat and pondered how our relationship has changed over the years. She was comfortable with me in her space which brought up thoughts about the horse and owner I had worked with yesterday. This horse would lunge at her owner and sometimes bite her. What causes a horse to learn that behavior? Although from a horses perspective it's self protective , but from an humans perspective it's quite painful, not only physically but emotionally. This owner wondered why her horse would treat her so. She was not mean to her horse , she loved her horse.

I think the relationships become unbalanced when we overpower the horse with our prospectives and agenda's. What can my horse do for me ,rather than what can I do for my horse? How many of us come out from work stressed and just pull our horses away from their dinner without even asking them if that's all right? It is very important to spend down time
with your horse , just relaxing, or playing and feeling what they need in the moment. The
association has to be good for both parties. I find my horse is much more understanding when I do need to pull her in from pasture or work her around feeding time because I try to honor the balance between work and play.
Nancy

My first blog

2007-03-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
This blog thing is a new experience for me. Hope everyone will enjoy the conversation and interactions. I'm presenting some information on the horse human relationship at a clinic and would love to hear from you on your experiences with your horse/animals. My first question that Iwould like to stimulate you with is "What is the most important like lesson you have learned from your horse/animal?" I've had lesson in love does not conquer all. Boundaries are very important. Not only for safety reasons but animals also appreciate the ability to relax when they don't have to be incharge every moment. It's just good to let down in a safe space sometimes. I'm sure we all know about that.
Nancy